Today I went to Lowe’s with my wife to look for a new oven. At one point I am looking at the ovens and she is just looking at me. I ask her why she is doing this, and she replies that she is waiting for me to make a decision since it is my decision. I have seen myself be over-controlling before, but this time I have caught myself in the act. I make an effort to get her give her input on what she wants, so that it will not be my choice. I have to push her a bit. I think her reluctance is reflex reaction from her normally giving in to what I want.
An associate comes over and asks us if we need help. I tell him that we are trying to figure out what we want and he asks “What is it you really need?” And isn’t this the biggest thing that there is? We must let go of our wants and expectations and find out what it is that we really need.
The main concern for starting to pick out the oven is simply the type of oven to get (built-in, standalone, slide-in). As part of getting a oven, we want to redo the counter-tops as well, so we are pretty open on the type. The associate suggested that we look at the counter-tops first. He said that there are a number of things that we can do and we should just “have fun with it.”
In counter-tops, my wife was a little more open to giving her opinion. She knew that we didn’t want to go too expense, so she stayed around a good price point and picked out a few that she liked. In looking through some of the displays the kitchen associate indicated that we need to think about a back-splash as well. She was very upfront on things that we can do to save money. Of course by us saving money on labor,which Lowe’s contracts out, we have more money to spend on materials and put into Lowe’s pockets. Oh well, I am OK with that. 🙂
We then made our way over to tile and picked out a few options that we like for the wall and backsplash. I asked the associate there what I need to do to prep the wall for the tile. He said that I can just use the tile glue and it should be fine. He also told me “don’t make it any harder than it is.” I guess it was this last one that really stuck out to me. Different little signs or suggestions on how I can make this experience better. Things that I need to focus on or let go of. And to think that it started with me letting go of control on picking out the oven.