My thoughts and anger seem to be consuming me this morning.  People not reacting how I think they should.  Feelings of inadequacy and worry.  I try to think positive.  I try to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.  I try to convert my feelings of I don’t want to feel this way into I want to feel this way.  Thoughts make feelings.  Scattered thoughts = scattered feelings.  I need to stabilize.  I need to make my thoughts even, in all situations turn “I don’t want” into “I want”.

It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t feel like I was being punched in the throat every minute of the day.  I want to feel confident.  I want to get what I want.  I want to be myself.  I want to be knowledgeable, accepting, accepted.  I can continue to list my wants forever.  But them being wants still puts me in a position of wanting or lacking.  It is always a thought of not having or never having enough.

So what then?  How do I gain what I want without wanting it?  Pretend that I already have it?  If I put myself in a position of turning my wants into my haves then does the universe truly respond and give it to me?  What is required for this? Patience.  Acceptance.  There is a time delay.

Thoughts manifest themselves into physical reality on a timeframe.  Ask an artist.  A painting does not appear at a thought.  It takes effort and time to turn a mental thought into a physical representation.  Piece by piece, if I allow it, I can see and be the transformation.  The only limitation is my own thought and my own level of acceptance.  An artist lost in his work adjusts his thoughts to reality and reality to his thoughts bridging the gap until there is no distinction.  to an artist lost in his work, no time appears to have passed.

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