Patience is not something that comes naturally to me.  Patience in thought.  Patience in action.  Patience in anything.  Even in starting to write this post, I am anxious to get whatever thoughts I have down on the screen before they are fully developed.  Patience requires me to slow down and even stop when what I want to do is hit the gas.  I am so eager to get there or through a situation that I sometimes miss some of the scenery alongside the road.  I am so eager to breakthrough that I may have actually missed what it was I intended to accomplish.

Have I been in a position of setting a goal, achieving it and then setting another goal without allowing myself to celebrate my accomplishment?  Or before achieving a goal, am I setting another goal that dismisses my original goal?  This leaves me in a cycle of never being able to feel accomplishment.  I then have a feeling of lacking for not achieving my current goal which may have just been set and trumps everything before it.

Maybe goal isn’t the correct word.  Maybe that is overused and makes no sense.  Maybe I shouldn’t have any goals.  Maybe I should set my sights on what is in front of me and drop all expectation for what it should be, for what it represents.  This is where patience comes into play.  I have witnessed myself pushed into the current moment when I allowed patience to enter.

Patience for whatever the current moment brings without expectation.  It is a goal, but not a goal.  I guess that there is some sort of balance between the two.  When I feel myself drawn away it is like my thought is getting caught around the axle.  An endless critique of the thought or more specifically what I am thinking about.  This can be of a past event, something in the future or even what I am doing right at the moment.

So here is the experiment, whenever I catch myself asking if I did, am doing or will do the right thing, I will answer yes.  Is the current moment perfect?  Yes.  What I have thought of as mistakes are part of the path itself.  They have led me and are leading me towards what I need.  This is not a goal that I have set.  That implies expectation.  I am being guided to what I actually what I need.