I have been looking externally for a vision on what I should do at work.  I have been waiting for something to just take away the responsibility and just tell me what I should do.  I spoke with my manager today about how I don’t have a clear vision of my career path.  He told me that instead of waiting or depending on others for a vision, I should create one for my department and grow it from the inside out.  I had never really looked at it that way.  I have been looking externally for direction, when the only place that I can really look is internally.

How can I find work that will give me joy?

Some things seem obvious when you say them or put them on paper.  I then beat myself up over not realizing it sooner, but the thing is that it is all part of the process.  I am exactly where I need to be and I need to let that sink in.  I need to let it fill my whole body.  No matter my perceived mistakes or successes, I am where I am and that is the only place that I can be at this moment.

So I changed the name of the blog.  The old addresses still work.  You can still even go to bullzen.wordpress.com, it will just redirect to middlepane.com.  I had a thought in mind for the name middle pane, but I just don’t feel that thought any more.  So, I am just some guy, you know.  Until I am something else, I suppose.

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