Water doesn’t react, it flows
Even a rock changes over time
Eroded by the elements
Permanence of any kind is a myth
I got no reason for the things I do
The dealer deals them the deal is screwed
You throw your cards upon a playing table
My name is Cain and I am now unable
I got no reason for the things I fear
The things that plague me when I see and hear
A dime’s a nickel, a nickel’s none
I’ll throw myself into the Sunday sun
Jenny says, turn off the radio
Jenny says, turn off the lights
Jenny says, turn off the video
You beat yourself up ’cause you love it
Let it go, let it go, let it go
Let it go, let it go, let it go
When the world is coming down on me
I let it go
I sometimes struggle with how much information to give someone vs. letting them figure it out on their own. This is both at work and at home with my kids. I guess it goes back to the whole “If you give a man a fish…” dealie. Continuing to give out free fish is putting me in a situation of being the fisherman. Not a bad occupation by any means, but it does get a little smelly and I have my eyes set on dry land.
It is most definitely a practice in patience. I get torn between wanting to get the task done and wanting to allow the person to learn (and ultimately leave me alone 🙂 ). I also don’t want the other person to think that I am dragging them along. If they get frustrated then it is of no use. They will dismiss everything that they are doing as busy work. The goal is that at the end they either know how to do it or have enough information to figure out how to do it on their own. It is a balancing act.
It is frustrating to me while doing this. I want to shake the person and say “Why don’t you know how to do this? Why am I the only one paying attention?”. I don’t. Luckily today everything has been through instant message, so it has allowed me to think more about my reaction. At some point the giving of information and letting people struggle becomes natural and I take over when needed. Or at least when I feel it is needed. This is all just an extension of my practice. Today I learn about patience and acceptance.
Of course, now the parallels come into play. If I am teaching others like this, how am I being taught? How much information am I being given vs. banging my head on the wall to find out on my own? And if I have that sort of abandoned feeling, is that just me being left to figure it out myself. The end result being that it is something that is more rewarding and more meaningful to me and my experience. Maybe I don’t get the exact correct answer or maybe I go about it a different way than is initially prescribed. The end result is the same. Eventually, the lesson is forgotten and we are left with our instincts on how to return.
What is the difference in finding and looking? The two words sound so much the same. When we look, we are looking so that we can find something. We look for our car keys. We find our car keys. Yeah, that sounds pretty close. The question is, can we find our car keys without looking?
How many times have your torn through your house looking for your keys? You look everywhere that you have been. You look in the normal spots. You look in the abnormal spots. They are gone. You close your eyes and take a breath. You find them. They were here all along. You did not need to look for them for them to be here.
When we actively look for something we set up expectations in our mind for what we will find or where we will find it. Those expectations limit and can set us up for disappointment if they are not fully met. Let go of expectations of finding and just find.
We suffer because we want things to last forever or, even worse, we EXPECT things to last forever. But, impermanence isn’t a bad thing in itself. That is just a value that we apply to it. Without impermanence, life is not possible. How can we transform our suffering if things are not impermanent? How can the situation in the world improve? We need impermanence for hope.
– Daniel Boepyol Scharpenburg – unleashyourbuddhanature
Glad you made it here. I have been waiting. Take a peek through the blog. It can go pretty far if you follow the tracks. Come join me on this path that never ends.