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Middle Pane

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mind

Memory

Why is it that we can remember some things some of the time, but not all things all of the time?  Why is memory selective to the situation and the frame of mind?  Why does doing certain things trigger certain memories?  Why are those memories chosen over others?

Sometimes the memories bring pleasure, and we cherish those over the ones that bring us pain.  Still, we remember the ones that bring us pain.

One memory…  one moment… triggering the next one.

What was the first one?  And how could there ever be a first one?

An empty state

A state of emptiness

Screenshot from 2015-12-04 22:41:18

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Traveling

In the physical world, I can pretty much get and do anything that I want, but there is a specified set of steps to get there.  If I want to be at the beach I have to: buy an airplane ticket, rent a car, go to the airport …. and then I will eventually be at the beach.  My ability to travel from here to the beach is within an acceptable level of reality.  I know that it can happen.

But all of that is just thought.

Outside of the moment.

Defining the moment destroys the moment.

You can’t name the moment.

It exists without name.

Because really you are already there.  You are already everywhere.  The mind is making up something from this moment to points in the past and future.  The events to get sequentially to this point or that point are all held within the mind.  The mind imposes limitations on the perceived reality based on past thought patterns and future projections.  But the mind says “Events have to have transpired for me to be at this point.”  It demands to stay in control.  And the more it is in control, the more that it determines what you will experience.

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Mind-Body Perception

The mind perceives the outside world through senses. It is only aware of reality through an interpretation of the sense. The ears feed in sound waves that are then interpreted into something that is meaningful or identifiable. The body is also perceived through senses. What we interpret as the body is not reality, it is only perception of reality. So really, I am not the body, just as I am not the outside world.

Thoughts also seem to come that way. The original, real thing, followed by echos and perceptions. The mind echos the true event or reality. Those echos mix together and form a sense of identification. I am not really the echo, I am the source. I am not the body. I am not even the mind.

But perhaps an echo is still part of what I am. I am the observer and the observed. To say that I am not something denies me saying that I am everything. I can’t be everything minus something. That doesn’t make sense. I am and I am not the body. I am and I am not the mind. Semantics. I guess it is more freeing to lose the identification than claim it, even though it is a infinitesimally small part of our composition.

Ghosts are acting out memories in my head.

I am not this Post

This post is the most popular post on my site.  Every day I get a handful of hits from people linking from other sites, but mostly from search engine queries.  The topic is my anticipated trip to Inner Engineering put on by Sadhguru and Isha Yoga.  For some reason, the mantra of the meditation “I am not the body, I am not even the mind” shows up at the top of Google search results.  I guess it is the right combination of words or tags or links or comments or something.

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Free Will vs. Control

101_0139 (Modified%20(2))If all action and thought spring from this exact moment, then we either have the total ability to modify our thoughts and actions, or we are just along for the ride.  If all possibilities are played out then we exist as one of those possibilities that is allowing the universe to examine itself and maybe take stock of where it is in the scheme of things.  A certain awareness through a certain lens.  So at the point of awareness in the current moment we realize that all possibilities have occurred to bring about this moment, and this moment represents all possibilities from this moment.

s33said: “we” might have a grain of total control but we also evanesce out toward control which is less than total but also to a presence with less we and more they.

Through identification with the individual we assume that there is something to control.  With loss of identification and causality, there is nothing to control.  Free will comes, but it is not really needed.  Free will isn’t really freedom to make whatever choice you want.  That is irrelevant.  The true meaning is a freedom from desire or will.  Acceptance without want to change.

“Desires are just waves in the mind. You know a wave when you see one. A desire is just a thing among many. Freedom from desire means this: the compulsion to satisfy is absent.
Nisargadatta Maharaj

The more I find myself trying to control the moment, the more I realize that the control is not needed.  My attempts at control only end in disappointment when the goal is not met.  And I realize that this is because I am not self-realized.  Attempt at control is a want.  Release of control is true freedom from will.  It seems to be a balance.  Very odd.  Again, sort of the middle pane aspect of being caught in the middle.  Maybe I should start of a site of middle panes from different comic strips.

Awareness is for all times, not just when you are sitting with your eyes closed.  Do not mistake action for thought or thought for action.

Anger

Why do I fight so much with the ones I love?  It seems sometimes that I put all of the anger that I have from the outside world onto them.  I guess it seems impolite or out of place to go off on a co-worker, and I know that my family will forgive.  It is absolutely no excuse that I project my anger onto them.  They are the ones that I love the most and they are the ones that feel the brunt of my rage.  If this Inner Engineering course does nothing besides help me manage and understand my anger then I will consider it a success.  That is the thing that I need most right now.  Enlightenment and the universe can come later.  I need peace with my family and peace with myself.

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Observation of Time

Can time exist without an observer.  Time could be defined as events that occur and our perception of some unit of measurement that has passed between those events.  Perceived time varies per observer and is based on internal and external events.  If I look forward to some event happening, time may be perceived to progress slower coming up to the event and then quicker afterwards.  That same event may be something that someone else dreads, so time may be perceived to be quicker coming up to the event and slower afterwards.  Which observed movement of time is correct?  So, can there be independent, non-observed time.

One image, as the observer, observes dozens of other images around himself and inside himself … there is a central image put together by all the other images, and this central image, the observer, is the censor, the experiencer, the evaluator, the judge who wants to conquer or subjugate the other images or destroy them altogether. But other images are the results of judgments, opinions and conclusions of the observer, and the observer is the result of all the other images—therefore the observer is the observed.

Krishnamurti

Measuring change of state of particles makes assumptions about how time affects the particles.  Consider the zen koan “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, then does it make a sound”?  Without someone to perceive the sound, does the sound exist?  OR “If no one is around to see the tree at all, did it fall?” Are we making assumptions about how it got into that state based on our prior experiences or has the tree always existed in that state.  We observe and then make up a story that fits our observations.

Water flows on and on
but it never flows away.
The moon waxes and wanes,
and yet in the end it is the same moon.
If we look at things through the eyes of change,
then there’s not a single instant of stillness in all creation.
But if we observe the changelessness of things,
then we, and all beings alike
have no end.

Su Shih

If time only exists when perceived, does it really exist at all?  Is everything just a possibility in flux (null) waiting for an observer to flip the switch and lock it into something meaningful to that observer?  And if that is true for “physical” matter, what about thought or feeling?  Can thought or feeling exist without an observer and if it is being observed who/what is that observer?

The moment you realize you are not present, you **ARE** present. Whenever you are able to observe your mind, you are no longer trapped in it. Another factor has come in, something that is not of the mind: the witnessing presence.

Eckhart Tolle – The Power of Now

We are not viewing physical matter, we are viewing our perceptions (thoughts/feelings) of physical matter.  Obviously thoughts and feelings can be influenced by subtle things that we are not even aware of, but if it is all part of our perception then we should have ultimate control of it.  It is awareness that breaks the illusion.

Like you, I am a luminous stardust being that has become self-aware, and we are two pieces of stardust that are having a conversation. But that is just a spacetime event. Our real nature is beyond space and time.

Deepak Chopra

Judgment

Everything that I sense is a projection of my mind.  It is a judgement of reality as my mind is interpreting it.  Since it is a projection of my mind, then to oppose it is to oppose my mind.  To see good or bad in it is to see good or bad in my mind.  Letting go of judgement of others, of our position in life, of our environment, of any expectation that we may have for anything that is beyond this situation, and even the current situation itself allows us to let go of judgement of ourselves.  Within that judgement free zone we can just be.  The goal is to expand that zone as wide so that it encompasses everything that you could possibly imagine, and everything that you could not possibly imagine.

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